At this month’s YP meeting (www.ulgdyp.org), we had Roderick Miles of Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) talk to the body about being a Big in the BBBS program. As I reflect on the 1st month of having a “little” through the program, I’m surprised at the progress of my little and I. It’s been a long time coming, about two years since someone introduced me to the program. It’s not surprisenly good, it’s not surprisenly bad, it’s just been a surprise. I’m surpised at how easy our interactions have been.
Before joining BBBS, I though I would have to “force” a relationship with Ja’Lon. I studied the materials my match specialist provided me (sort of), I made sure my schedule was clear (an act of congress in itself), even reviewed my notes from the online training (I kind of paid attention to) and I mentally prepared for any questions he and his family had for me (how to impress them with the “good” in me and how to deflect all of my vices).
When I got there, it wasn’t like that. Everything was thrown out of the window. I had no plan… So I just stuck with my instincts. As our match coordinator explained each of our roles, I noticed he didn’t care much about the rules; he was glad (or relieved) that he had a sensible Big Brother. He is a regular human being…
I learned that he had been waiting for a Big for about 2 years. He’s 14 year old, a Freshman in High School. He needed a man in his life during the harmonal transitions in middle school. His mother and grandmother are cool, but they don’t understand the different changes he’s going through or how puberty affects a man. I remember hating that time period in my life and made a vow to help as many people as possible though that difficult time. I failed him at that. I was too selfish… I should have stepped it up when someone approached me a couple of years ago…
Long story short, we have had a good time so far. I’m teaching him things, he’s tellin me I listen to old people music (duh, I’m sorry he was born after both 2-Pac and Biggie were killed). Most importantly, we both have someone who we can talk to and gain knowledge, and I am grateful.
Black Men: Please sign up to be a Big. Our boys need you. You don’t have to be a perfect man, we don’t need perfection. African American boys are in search of models: people they can emulate. If we rely on TV or society, they will not understand the true black man fully. Please help our poeple… Surprisenly, it’s not that bad…
Mr. Matt Houston 
You had great rapport with your Little, I had a great time at the game and I definitely agree we need more responsible men stepping up and being Bigs.